No Parents Wants To Hear That Their Child Is Being Bullied at School

Today, it has become common to hear about bullying at school. This type of bullying can occur anywhere at school such as bus stops, on the bus, gym, recess, lunch, library times, bathrooms, in the hallway, etc. It can be physical, verbal or emotional or a combination and usually happens over a period of time.

Bullies can come in all shapes and sizes. They are basically looking to make themselves feel better by taking advantage of another student. They will typically taunt and tease their target before they begin to physically hurt them. It usually starts out small and develops into something worse if you do not catch it.

Unfortunately, this is where we are with my situation. The fifth grade girl who lives on my street has taken to physically hurting my first grader son. My son is a little rough on the edges since we adopted him through foster care. He doesn’t always understand how things work. He is the youngest at the bus stop as well. This made him her target to make herself feel bigger. Bullies tend to pick a child who is different. He is still struggling to fit in. She knows that my daughter is settled in. My daughter was unaware of what was going on as well.

Last week, I came home from the store and noticed that the truancy officer from the school was at the bus stop. I was curious what was going on so I kept looking out. When the bus arrived at the stop, the officer stopped the children from going home to speak to them. I walked down to the bus stop. I was told that someone had reported that there had been reports made that there was fighting and verbal abuse going on.

The fifth grader told the officer that it was probably the fourth grader reporting it and that she was always fighting with her. My son admitted to picking up sticks and things to play with. He was told not to do that anymore by the officer. The officer basically told them all to stop anything that is physical or verbal abuse and that he would be watching.

After he left, I believed what was said. I didn’t think anything of it. I left it alone. In the morning, the officer was once again down at the bus stop. I stopped down. Two of the parents came out to speak to him as well. I was told that a few of the little girls at the bus stop were concerned about my son’s welfare. That he was being mistreated by the fifth grader. As I listened, I became angry. One parent told me that my son picked up a newspaper and threw it. It hit the fifth grader. We don’t know if it was meant to hit her. The girl basically beat my son with the newspaper. One of the parents had to tell her to stop before she did. Another parent told me that she was told by her daughter that the fifth grader was confronted by the bus driver for saying something mean to my son and made to sit in the front seat. This established that it was not a onetime occurrence. This was months ago. No one mentioned these situations to me or my husband before the officer’s appearance. My daughter wasn’t aware that it was a bad situation. My son kept closed mouth about them.

The week before my son came home with bad reports on his behavior for the day on two different days. I thought it was because I had just started to volunteer in his class. He doesn’t like to have his schedule upset. Now I began to wonder if it was more. I asked my son that night if she was bullying him. He said yes. I didn’t know how to handle it. He told me some of the things that were happening.

I went to the school to approach them on it. I spoke with the school counselor. She will be speaking with the truancy officer as well as wishes to speak to my son. I am insisting that I be with her when she does so. He has been through enough in his short life without a real parent to stand by his side.

At the beginning of the school year, it was announced in orientation that the school would not tolerate any bullying behavior. I was surprised at the point because my daughter has attended the same school for the last four years. Bullying was never pointed out.

Some warning signs that your child might be being bullied are:

• Damaged or missing items such as clothing, books, etc.
• Unexplained injuries or bruises
• Complains of feeling sick or stomach aches constantly
• Has bad dreams frequently
• Changes their eating habits
• Hurt themselves
• Is afraid to participate in things with other peers
• Is afraid to ride the bus
• Does poorly in school
• Appears sad, moody or depressed

Some things that you can do to help your child are:

• Talk with your child about what is going on. Don't let them keep it bottled up. Do not force them to share though.
• Do not try to get even with the child's parents. Take the necessary steps to get it correctly. Try to talk to the officials at school.
• Talk with your child about how to react to bullies. They tend to look for kids that get upset about it. Let them know its ok to laugh it off and walk away. Teach them to talk with you after.
• Support your child. I can not stress that enough. Make sure that your child is aware that you are behind them. That you will take steps to protect them.
• Find something that your child is good at and praise them. It must be sincere or they will know.
• If you can remove the situation that it happens in, do so. For instance, I am now taking my children to school to avoid the child that is picking on my son. This is helping to make my child feel secure in his world again.

Please do not take this as a small matter; it can affect your child’s life for the rest of time. Talk with your child. Get them professional help. Do not forget to speak to the school and see what the next steps are.